I am not interested in doing anything at all, included meditation, so I just wile the time away
As a neet transitioning out of 'neetdom', practicing meta in order to get out of extreme coldness and apathy. I have a ridiculous amount of free time on my hands. I typically practice walking meditation 1-2 hours a day, but once I'm done, I have absolutely nothing to do.
I don't have passions, pursuits, or hobbies. I'm simply not interested in doing anything. So instead I while the time away online, feeling mentally blocked from meditating anymore, lost in mental confusion and filled with bizarre longing for absolutely nothing at all.
I'm not sure what to do with my time. As I said, nothing at all interests me, so I just while away the time, but I feel this is terribly wasteful. It is true this lack of interest may be due to apathy arising from years long depression and mental 'dryness', but it could be years before loving-kindness meditation fully kindles the fires of aspiration.
In the meantime, what on earth do I do??
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