I'm a lost 21 year old guy with a lot of issues
Okay so a little bit of background.
I'm 21, male, balding, college drop out and I'm from Ireland.
I find 'life is suffering' hard to swallow but more so the question after realising that, 'so what's the point?'
I want a lot out of life, I rack my brains trying to get down to what I actually want, what I actually believe, why life is worth living and how to be content.
This isn't a depression related post or anything of the sort, I'm just looking for answers on life philosophy, a sense of meaning, worth and generally being content - I know that's a long road..
I want to do a lot of things, I also flip flop from notion to notion.. 'I'll study medicine, no! computer science, I'll go into banking, no live off the grid'... it's getting ridiculous.
If I start getting into golf I want to play on the PGA..
I want expensive things, not for the sake or to show others but for myself.. I just want a go-to uniform, one of the best quality.. so I don't have to focus on what I wear, so there's little to no decision making, I want to be comfortable and feel quality clothing not cheap crap just so I seem on trend.
I want to be successful, and by my definition that's the usual picture.
I want to make enough money to afford me luxuries - I want comfort, I want to save time..
I want to grow an empire, I've thought of going down the route of an electrician - I'd want to get into property development..
I don't really enjoy any of this where I currently am.. I get so frustrated over seeing advertisements, I hate fake music made by marketing, I hate stupid reality tv shows and influencers.. 'buy this, I'm pretty and well liked.'
Everyone likes the same things..
Instagram accounts about entrepreneurship - 'get up and just grind', 'I live to work, you work to live' and some stupid picture of private jets and expensive cars.
Blacked out sports cars, Rolex watches and anchor bracelets.. LV duffle bags.. it's all the same.
I also hate how life has gone.. we buy cheap clothes made by little kids with a turnover of a day or two.. so you can have the newest style to throw it out in a few weeks.. clothes shouldn't be that cheap.
Everyone wants bigger houses, McMansions left and right, that's success.
We praise narcissists..
We buy shit we don't need because we're told we need it.
We're just here to buy the stuff we're sold, and we have to 'contribute to society' - a society designed around buying and selling crap, destroying the planet to sell you stuff.
You take out loans to learn, loans to have a roof over your head, and then you pop out more kids, and you repeat.
So a few can get very rich and the rest can wear blinkers and talk about the Kardashians..
We've gotten so damn lazy.
I'm glad the tiny house movement is happening, I'm glad people are moving towards minimalism - and not just as a cute aesthetic.. we're using renewable energy.. less packaging, less plastic, less social media..
But that's a minority, and while people can change the world the actions of a few won't counter the actions of the majority.
We're sold ideas or fear by the media, often times both.
I just don't really like society.. I don't know how else to say it other than I don't think humans are good for the world.
So what's the point?
How has Buddhism thought you to be content with life?
I'm not religious, and I often fall into nihilism, and certainly pessimism.
At times I want to manage a hedge fund, other times I want to start a renewable energy company or a environmental charity.
Sometimes I want to start an influencer marketing company, I hate all it stands for but I know it's something I could be great at.
And I'd make a lot of money, it's the old 'if you can't beat them, join them'..
So if I can't make genuine change, if I can't see a point, I'd be better off getting to the top of the pile of shit rather than have shit above me.
I know I'm hypocritical, I try to understand, I look into, I read, I post online, I ask questions and I watch documentaries..
I just get so sick of what I see..
The reason I'm posting this is buddhism is the closest thing to logic I can find, I don't agree with most if not all major religions but Buddhism seems to me more as a spiritual guideline, rather than the current catholic 'well most go to church because we have to', it's either that or god fearing and preaching.
And the teaching of Buddhism seem a lot before for my mental health than nihilism and wallowing in negative thoughts.
I just don't know if it's something I can improve with through buddhism or if it's just me, maybe it's a diagnosable issue.. or again, it could just be me - I mean everyone else seems pretty okay with it all.
I just don't know, am I in the right headspace to start looking into Buddhism?
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from Buddhism https://ift.tt/2OlmeK4
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