disturbing thoughts & memories of traumatic experiences

every once in a while a memory will pop in my head of something very scary or upsetting that’s happened to me. for example, when i was a teen my mother accidentally caused one of our cats to pass away. when these memories show up, which is only occasional, my body feels so crazy. hot, tingly, like i’m going to pass out. it’s not that i think what happened is bad or a problem, but it is extremely disturbing and sad. and it’s not really a problem that my body goes through this, but i am wondering...is it because i haven’t fully processed the trauma? sometimes i let myself follow the thoughts just a little, to expose myself to that crazy crazy body feeling of terror and extreme sadness because i don’t want to immediately push them away out of fear. however i don’t need to be reliving these traumas, it seems unnecessary. plus we always sort of convolute or taint our memories, often without realizing it, and i want to be careful not to do that when these thoughts and feelings come.

in the end it’s not a big deal, because they are just thoughts and feelings. but i’m wondering if semi-immobilizing memories of things like a sudden loss of something important to me, or seeing my mom upset in deep grief and guilt, are popping up because i need to learn from them, or if i need to let go of them and not try to conceptualize about why they happen.

any thoughts, buddhist & “nondual” friends?

submitted by /u/vanishing_birb
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