I want to be good and kind but how if I have issues
What if I have "bad energy" within me? Anger, social anxiety, short temper sometimes I'm hateful and push people away as a defense.
I want to be kinder, to help people, to be a healer (whatever this means), I want to laugh and be funny, to be a positive light in others life. I want to be like my teacher...I feel like he's an enlightened being, he's really wise but at the same time funny, with a good sense of humour, he seems very calm and grounded even in the face of adversity, he always has this little smile on his face, he's kind. Well I dont know him personally but I feel like he's good...a positive presence. I'm jealous because I want to be like him.
How can I help if I feel hate sometimes? Or anxiety, anger, whatever?? If I get easily stressed out when I'm trying to have a job? I also want to feel love for others. But right now I feel like devoided of love. I cant feel it in my heart, for myself and others. Its been a while to be honest...my love for others is selfish. I feel good when someone appreciates me, or say positive things to me, or when I feel like they are there for me...then I feel a warm sensation in my chest. But it's not love for the person. I like how they make me feel, that's it.
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from Buddhism https://ift.tt/2OPwECF
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