Truths, beliefs and attitudes that help with self-forgiveness/self trust?
Long ago, I did some pretty crummy things. And because I've developed spiritually, and emotionally, I've come to realize just how bad these things were. Back when I did these things I had really poor self control and was constantly in a state of masochism, self hatred and high anxiety.
Flash forward to now, I have good self control, almost too much at times, because I don't trust myself. These things haunt me, and I have difficulty letting it go. I often go through guilt and shame about it all. Sometimes I feel compassion and empathy for those I've hurt, and sometimes sorrow and feeling disturbed by it all.
I've been practicing forgiveness meditation periodically. Basically I offer myself forgiveness for what I've done, and try to give myself understanding for the reasons I did such things, and try to realize that I'm a different person now. But it doesn't seem to be enough.
I guess sometimes I still have darker impulses, although they are much much more rare. This is a contributing factor to not trusting myself. Sometimes these things haunt me so much, and I have so much moral fear that I can't really live in the present moment much at all, because I'm trying to go over rules of ethics that will prevent me from doing such things again.
Anyways, I wanted to write a meditation/prayer to recite often, to help improve my attitudes on this front and would like some input on what things help you guys forgive yourselves? Thanks!
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