i deal with a lot of fear around the idea of growing old, bodily deterioration, and dying. should i read the tibetan book of the dead?

or is there another buddhist text that you recommend? i’m not necessarily looking for comfort as much as i am looking for insight and wisdom that will show me the true nature of these things, and maybe “the truth will set me free.”

right now i am dealing with health problems that are creeping up because i hadn’t properly taken care of some things when i was younger. one of my cats is living out her end days with kidney failure i am caretaking, medicating, and witnessing her in discomfort in her old age. my parents are also getting old and have their own health problems.

in the past i distanced myself from death. i was not good at visiting sick and dying family members. i haven’t attended all of the funerals my family would’ve liked me too. my parents always took care of the pets when they passed away or had to be euthanized. i was present for burials and one euthanization but because they were the responsible ones, there was a distance there that i would feel safe in. now i am my pets’ primary caretaker so i am dealing with it all up close

i remember listening to noah rashetta’s secular buddhism podcast on death, and just feeling...crazy inside my body. crazy body feelings.

i want to face it all, see the truth, and relax. i just bought the book, but was wondering if my friends here thought that would be a good thing to read now, or whether there are other texts more catered toward this kind of thing.

oh, impermanence. how you terrify my ego sometimes.

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