Meditation on death

Hello,

The last weeks I have been meditating on death, 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening. Im repeating the mantra "I may die today" 108 times and then I focus on the breath the remaining session. The only thoughts I allow are those regarding death... but when I meditate I don't really believe that I'm going to die.. I understand it rationally and intellectually, but I can not truly believe it.. even though I almost died twice. (former drug addict) I also had several psychedelic trips where I faced death, accepted death and I let go.

Is it the attachment barrier? The protection of self? My obsessive self-concern? Fear of letting go?

Has anyone here experience in meditation on death? Is it anyone here that truly, honestly and deeply understand that today might be your last day? How did you come to this realization?

I would truly appreciate your input, because I see this as my greatest barrier too live a life in aspiration and gratitude.

Love

submitted by /u/balancedfrequency
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