Incredibly stressed about visiting the sangha
Born and raised buddhist here. I rarely visited any temple as a kid due to living in a rural and pretty isolated area, so after moving to the city, I was pretty excited to be close to a variety of temples from a variety of different schools. One of my friends here goes to a Jodo Shinshu temple on occasion, and even though it`s not my tradition (Pure Land), everyone is so nice and I love going with him. The only problem is that he doesn`t go as often as I want to go, and it`s a huge panic inducing struggle going without someone.
I guess I`m just afraid of feeling like I don`t belong there or feeling like an invader. This has literally never been the case when I do visit, but for some reason I can`t shake the feeling. I`m also afraid that I`ll get there and not know what to do or mess some custom up, which again is ridiculous because I`ve been before and I know the ropes. At the same time, not visiting the sangha also stresses me out because I feel like I`m missing an opportunity to learn and grow.
Has anyone else felt this way when visiting a temple for the first time? Do you have any advice?
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