how to deal with negative emotions caused by cruel and inconsiderate persons?
recently i made great progress. i was able to leave behind self loathing and the hate planted in me by a violent upbringing. after a life ruled by depression and fear, i found (mostly) permanent happiness.
sometimes i still get angry. i think it is because i feel anger is sometimes necessary to fight important fights. i do not feel it is the right thing to do to give it up fully. but more and more i get angry if i decide to give anger room, not because i am ruled by it.
however, yesterday i had one experience that is very difficult for me to let go.
i was riding a train, and when i changed routes, i decided to buy a drink. i went into a shop, stood before the cooler when suddenly the shop keeper attacked me. pushed me around threatened me. i have no idea what motivated him to act like that - dude probably just is psychotic, or doing meth or both.
of course i told him to not touch me and asked what his problem was, but it was no good. kept pushing me, hitting me even. though i did not have any injuries physically, i later noticed that my glasses are gone. which is kind of bad for me. i am very short sighted and quite poor. yes. i can replace it. but it is money i wont be able to spend on other important things. i also wont see anything for at least half a week.
now i do not really know how to deal with this. i keep getting in thought spirals how idiotic this guy was, how inconvenient it is that i lost my glasses and how much it bothers me that i cant seem to find my tranquility back.
it really is not THAT a big thing. one crazy person, a loss i can deal with. i was able to get rid of much harder emotions and memories.
yet, this one is very tough on me. probably because of the total randomness of it. i just can not relate. i fail to understand, and so it keeps nagging at my mind.
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