Dharma without rituals

[Somebody asked me,] "I do not like prostrations and rituals. Can you teach me dharma without rituals?” I told him, go out on a date with no ritual behavior. You just sit there, you don’t talk, you don’t make eye contact, you don’t giggle, you don’t touch. Nothing. Do you think this will be a successful date? No. I went out on my first date with my wife in New York City. You dress nicely, you smile, you talk, you gaze, you touch. This is the ritual of dating. And at the end of the night you get a kiss.

I met a Zen monk once. He explained to me that unlike Tibetan Buddhists, Zen didn’t use all that ritual. They went straight to emptiness. Then I had a meal at a Zen temple. Every single movement was a ritual. How you sat down, how you unfold your napkin, how you hold your bowls, how you put them down, where you place your chopsticks. Every single gesture. There was no room for choice. This was a ritual for gathering the mind. But the rituals and methods of devotion need to be explained; otherwise they seem to come from Mars.

-Kyabgön Phakchok Rinpoche

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