Advice for negative life circumstances/environments?
Hey everyone. I wanted to post this here because I've seen some very helpful replies to questions of a similar nature and could do with some advice from someone wiser and further along the path than myself.
So, I'm not a Buddhist, but for a few years I've been learning about Buddhism/Yoga/Zen etc, practicing and applying what I've understood and I've grown a consistent meditation practice which has been somewhat life changing.
However, I currently have a problem: my life! To cut a long story short, I'm in a bit of a transitional stage and since unexpectedly coming back home about 7 months ago, I'll have to continue living at home with my parents (I'm in my 30's) until sometime next year.
This is tricky for a number of reasons, but ultimately my parents are both somewhat toxic to be around: the atmosphere at home can be very depressing, we have totally different ways of looking at life, it's hard to relax, always lots of noise and generally some kind of drama and/or arguing going on in their life. I feel trapped, and it's like their negativity energy is seeping into my own being. It's hard to have my own space to just 'be'.
Now this is where I'm struggling: I understand all of this is a 'story', temporary thoughts, feelings and emotions within the mind. I know my situation is also temporary and due to change sometime next year. And some days, I feel really content and somewhat unaffected by the story and all the external drama around me (including a job I don't get much satisfaction from, a shitty social life, poor finances, cold dark winter days etc). On those days, I experience how my spiritual practice is working in my day to day life.
But some days, it's harder. I try to be present, I know the mental forms are not 'me', and my story is not me either. But when you truly dislike where you're living and who you're living with and are ambitious for a totally different life which feels like it's on the horizon, how do you integrate it all?
I think I correctly understand that peace and happiness don't come from outside circumstances, but I sure as hell know I was happier when I wasn't living back at home...I mean, monks choose monastic life for a reason right? And it's natural to not want to be living with your parents at this age...
Anyway, this was a bit of a ramble so any advice whatsoever is welcome. I'm considering booking a short break this weekend just to get away for a bit to 'escape the story' but know that's only a temporary fix to a temporary problem...
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