Self control
Hello beautiful people! I am a spiritual agnostic with a variety of beliefs that draws from several systems of beliefs from Wicca to Judiasm. Buddhism has always been a fascination of mine, and it comprises a major section of the philosophy I guide my life with.
On to my issue, I am a young man that is a slave to the animal that lurks just beneath the surface. I am exposed to women constantly in the workplace and at college. It doesn't help that I like to flirt. In fact last night I flirted too much, and she tried to seduce me. I turned her down to preserve my virginity. I have many girls that I flirt with, and I'm afraid I will hurt someone by doing this. I was recently rejected by a girl I perceived as my soulmate, so I'm possibly overcompensating.
I maturbate to porn far too often, and I struggle to quit completely despite seeing it as a perversion. Masturbation bleeds off one's vibrational energy, and porn is the objectification and commoditization of people. I know the toxicity of my behavior yet struggle to change it.
I'd like to eat less for environmental reasons. I also hear it's healthier for the human body as well. Yet I'm a few pounds overweight. I have difficulties completing assignments on time. I have poor grades. I use far too many substances, too many cigarettes and marijuana.
I view myself as immoral as I clearly lack self control. Jumping from stimulus to stimulus is a poor way to be. I know it is only a matter of time before my mood declines. It will numb me to the beauty of existence. I can imagine the solution is a meditative one. I would like help in constructing a game plan to bring me inline with my higherself, the part of me that knows better.
Thanks
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