The Importance of Releasing Craving
I've seen some posts on pornography, or anger, or pain, or dealing with afflictions in the subreddit. I think all human beings are fallible, and we should be kind with ourselves.
That doesn't mean not being strict with ourselves. We do need some level of determination to keep up with the precepts. But we should also be kind and forgive ourselves for 'being human'. The title of being 'human' already tells us that we had causes-and-conditions that led us to this birth, we have the karma of being human. That is undeniable.
I decided to share a bit of how I dealt with the above. I've dealt with many ordeals in my life, although I would not say that I'm definitely up to the level of people who have gone through really tragic things.
I've dealt with apathy and depression with existential crises, with porn, with greed, with arrogance and pride, with intellectualism and superiority-complex, with inferiority-complexes, and so on. My faults are so numerous and I'm an absolutely fallible being.
But that being said, I thought some of my experience could be valuable to others out there who have not even scratched the surface of dealing with their problems. So I decided to see if this little bit of insight that I've had can help. Maybe it can, maybe it can't. I'll just throw it out here and hopefully someone finds it useful like I did.
These insights, when contemplated, really changed my life and outlook. It also changed the way I practice Buddha Dharma.
Insights that changed my life:
Insight 1: Do not seek happiness outside or inside.
When we get happy because of something, it is only a matter of time before the happiness sizzles out. We can have the same amount of something (money, possessions, career advancements, hobbies or even porn/sex), but this same amount will over time, diminish in its value to please you.
This is the Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns in economics. And in my opinion, it expresses exactly what the Buddha means by anicca which is often translated as impermanence.
Physical things and the world are surely impermanent. But so is happiness and sadness. By seeking outward in the senses, this impermanence of happiness inevitably leads us to pain.
Practical application: In your daily life, you will surely suddenly find yourself clinging onto something and using it as the permission-slip for yourself to be happy. For example, you may play video games, seek career advancement, get money, watch porn, demand relationship returns, and so on.
These are all wrong methods of getting happiness. Why? Because you need to see how worthless it is to do such a thing. No matter how "high" you get, or how "pleasurable" it may be, this pleasure cannot be sustained if you base it on a temporary feeling.
Solution? Give the control of happiness back to yourself. Do not let sense-objects determine your happiness and satisfaction.
As a metaphor, sense-objects are like salty water. The more you drink, the thirstier you become!
EG.
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If you want to get money and advance in career, the act itself is not the problem. The problem is that you are letting these outside-things determine your satisfaction.
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If you want to have sex with your wife or husband, the act itself is not the problem. The problem is that you are letting these sensations of sight, touch and so on determine your satisfaction.
So stop using a failing method to get satisfaction. Turn inwards to find the Buddha Dharma. You will find that this magically destroys a lot of cravings.
Insight 2: Analysis is not the same as Looking
Analysis means trying to deduce things and form connections by logic. Logic has its merit, but it is made out of thoughts superimposed upon the world.
Instead, if you simply "look" into your inner world, "look" directly at things happening in your life, things can gain clarity in your life.
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For example, are you aware of your body? Now that I've said it, you "looked" at your body and now feel its sensations.
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Are you aware of your breath then? Now, you "looked" at your breath and feel its sensations.
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Are you aware of your emotions? Again, you "look".
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Are you aware of your thoughts? What are you thinking? Again, you "look"!
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Is your mental state drowsy or agitated? You "look" again!
This is the true meaning of introspection. You see, I'm a person of science and deductions and logic were basically what I thrived on. When you look clearly and properly, "common-sense" appears. Logic does have its merit, but certainly not when you do not see all the variables!
There are other insights of course, but these two changed my life and practice. I hope it does for you as well. They may seem simple on the surface, but what really changes things is if you try to do it every single minute.
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