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I'm looking for people's perspectives on toxic friendships/relationships

Specifically I'm interested in generating a discussion on what to do when you realise a friendship is detrimental to your happiness.

On one hand I don't have many friends. And the friendship in mind is my only long term friendship. Its gotten negative, toxic, frustrating and stressful. This friend now offers no happiness or smiles. Just complaints, moaning, gossiping nastily, passive aggressive comments and attentiok seeking.

My dilemma is how to respond to a friend like that? Should I sacrifice my own happiness and continue to try and support her and inadvertently facilitate and encourage her behaviour? Should I be patient and compassionate at my own expense because I understand she MIGHT be this way because she's unhappy or insecure?

Or do I put myself first and slowly back out of this toxic friendship?

Another dielema I have is I love to please people to the point where its not very healthy for me. Also if I was being unpleasant because I was frightened or sad, I would appreciate someone giving me the benefit of the doubt and showing me some love or compassion. The problem is this is a long term thing. Its not just a one off. And my love an compassion is turning into facilitating her bad behaviour and causing me sadness.

Is it better to show compassion and have a toxic friendship, or put myself first and have no friends /make new friends?

submitted by /u/Alice150691
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