Okay, im lost as shit, sorry for language
okay well ill start off with the basics, im 19, live in Scotland, part time job, college drop out, half of my money goes to my mum, the rest disappears in a blank haze for real, i dont drink i smoke tho, okay so im lost, i have what feels like no ambition, and ive realised that im not motivated by money, by the thought of making a family, from my point of view i want to just be me, i dont mean to say life is meaningless, i want to keep living for sure im not depressed, at least i hope not haha, no reason to suggest i am, although i feel myself going down that path, i cant see a viable future for me, im not interested by money, sex, booze drugs, i just want to be at peace, thats why i was pulled to the path of buddhism in my early teens.
okay so now we have that down, i want to express my problem here, okay, i dont want to say my mum has lope hope, i know she hasn't, shes still pushing me, which is why im struggling with this dilemma, among other reasons, but i want to become a monk, and after reading several posts on here, ive read that some people see it as a mistake, some suggest not doing it, im still intrigued by buddhism, which is why im sticking to it, its the only thing that i see can help me just live.
but i cant/dont want to tell my mum, shes going through alot of money pressures atm, and shes just told me i need to get a full time job, i have been applying ofcourse, but its hard to find one with no real qualifications, shes says im out by november if i havent gotten one, WHAT DO I DO?
TL;DR
Im lost, my life doesnt have a clear direction, im just floating around saying wassup, and i have a ambition, but its not normal by todays means, and have read many have similar thoughgt in their teens, so i just want a full range of ideas to bounce off me, i want to become a monk, but feel i cant, due to problems at home.
Thanks for reading, Sorry about my name BTW :P a name is all it is.
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from Buddhism https://ift.tt/2DxoHAS
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