I enjoy anger, and am looking for healthier alternatives

I love intense emotion in any direction, to me they are the meaning of life and make me feel alive.

When i get angry I feel euphoric, I feel like I am operating on 100%. In a rage, I have purpose. I am not a lost sheep wandering around this supermarket listening to different people advertise products services ideas or places, I have a directive. Of course with anger comes destruction and pain and I want to detach myself from but in general, I love the idea of being 100% for any goal, having a purpose, a set in stone path.

In my rage I will think, come at me, whoever you are however big mighty or evil. I will slaughter each and every one of you or die trying. Again this is of course, wrong, but it's just the sheer will and energy is unparalleled. Adrenaline comes close. There is no perspective and opinion and of course this goes against Buddhism, it goes against awareness, but I kind of love it. My entire being, in a single direction, 100% momentum, unstoppable. I need more.

Whenever I have good intentions it's great but it's never so clean, so visceral. How can I enter this unbreakable path with positive intentions?

submitted by /u/attherose
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from Buddhism https://ift.tt/2xVbMCV