Are there any Buddhist ideas, philosophies, or texts that would help me surpass my fear of how vulgar the Universe can be?

For instance, being kidnapped and tortured, skinned alive, burned at the stake, run over by a military tank... These things absolutely baffle me. I feel as though I have experienced these some of things (or similar) in a past life, but in this life they have a profound effect on how I am able to live, leaving me stuck in a fearful tone instead of being able to live and love properly. I feel absolutely terrible for people who have to endure such things and none of it makes sense within the context of the Universe to me. I recall Alan Watts saying that we have a hard inside (bone) and soft outside (skin) so we can be more sensitive, as opposed to say, some insects who have a hard outside and soft inside and can't achieve the level of sensitivity a human can.

I've read the Parable of the Saw but I don't think I could handle something like that. I'd pass out or do my best to escape. I don't think my heart would fill with hatred towards the bandits, rather my heart would fill with inferiority and fear, and the inability to stay present in the moment.

Is mindfulness the only remedy to this?

submitted by /u/Birth_Chord
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